My kid will grow up
on the other side
of double pane glass.
Two layers
of see through
protection
between her
and the world.
Can two panes
of glass
keep out those
who will dismiss her
for being a girl?
Can two panes
of glass
keep out hate?
Aren't two panes of glass
harder to break than one?
Because one pane of glass
breaks so easily
and I know,
I can't afford
triple pane.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Westercon - July 4th weekend & thoughts on my writing - literary versus speculative fiction
Out and about:
Looks like I'll be attending Westercon for the first time. If you see me roaming around please say hello. I'm social though a bit shy. I'll probably say "Hi!" back to you.
I tried to juggle going to WisCon again this year but unfortunately, I just couldn't manage the cost. I would have loved to go - next time *grumble*.
I decided (last minute of course) to attend the writers conference at WesterCon. I'll have to workshop an old piece unless I can hurry up and finish one of the short stories I'm currently working on. That's a bit doubtful since I don't exactly have an ending worked out. Oh endings, so over-rated.
Writing:
Lately, I've been writing more "literary" fiction than speculative fiction. I write what pops into my head and that's what has been bubbling up. Sometimes, I find that I come up with a story idea that's fantastical in nature and as I start writing it, it becomes more literary and less speculative. It happens the other way around too but that happens less often I find.
Many of my stories don't require an element of speculative fiction or as often happens, I can't figure out how to blend aspects of speculative fiction with the story concept that I have when I wish that I could. There are writers who dart in and out of the hazy light that purportedly falls between straight "fiction" and "speculative fiction". Jorge Luis Garcia comes to mind first but there are so many wonderful writers who can. I hope with time and experience that I will be able to occupy and develop this in my writing as well.
Looks like I'll be attending Westercon for the first time. If you see me roaming around please say hello. I'm social though a bit shy. I'll probably say "Hi!" back to you.
I tried to juggle going to WisCon again this year but unfortunately, I just couldn't manage the cost. I would have loved to go - next time *grumble*.
I decided (last minute of course) to attend the writers conference at WesterCon. I'll have to workshop an old piece unless I can hurry up and finish one of the short stories I'm currently working on. That's a bit doubtful since I don't exactly have an ending worked out. Oh endings, so over-rated.
Writing:
Lately, I've been writing more "literary" fiction than speculative fiction. I write what pops into my head and that's what has been bubbling up. Sometimes, I find that I come up with a story idea that's fantastical in nature and as I start writing it, it becomes more literary and less speculative. It happens the other way around too but that happens less often I find.
Many of my stories don't require an element of speculative fiction or as often happens, I can't figure out how to blend aspects of speculative fiction with the story concept that I have when I wish that I could. There are writers who dart in and out of the hazy light that purportedly falls between straight "fiction" and "speculative fiction". Jorge Luis Garcia comes to mind first but there are so many wonderful writers who can. I hope with time and experience that I will be able to occupy and develop this in my writing as well.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Whoa 2013
Oh my god, 2012 is gone and thank goodness.
It's been a rough last quarter (only business people, accountants and students think in quarters right?). However, the new year seems to be traveling along on the same pot-hole filled road as the end of last year for me. Having a toddler in daycare means that I've become a part of the great social Petri dish and I'm constantly ill. I'm really not the most patient person with myself so this never ending sickness has been trying. I'm attempting to have a better attitude in the new year so that my wife doesn't bash my brains in.
On the writerly front, I've got a few short stories I'm working on and I'll be a mentee with the Golden Crown Literary Society (http://goldencrown.org/) at some point to help me get through this dang book I'm writing. Book writing are hard *whine*. I'm looking forward to this though, *shakes fist in the air* I will finish this book!
My wish for you, you lovely person reading this post, is that you are happy, compassionate, and most importantly, that you are thoughtful about how you exist in the world - we're all here together, lets be nice to each and our planet.
Happy New Year!
It's been a rough last quarter (only business people, accountants and students think in quarters right?). However, the new year seems to be traveling along on the same pot-hole filled road as the end of last year for me. Having a toddler in daycare means that I've become a part of the great social Petri dish and I'm constantly ill. I'm really not the most patient person with myself so this never ending sickness has been trying. I'm attempting to have a better attitude in the new year so that my wife doesn't bash my brains in.
On the writerly front, I've got a few short stories I'm working on and I'll be a mentee with the Golden Crown Literary Society (http://goldencrown.org/) at some point to help me get through this dang book I'm writing. Book writing are hard *whine*. I'm looking forward to this though, *shakes fist in the air* I will finish this book!
My wish for you, you lovely person reading this post, is that you are happy, compassionate, and most importantly, that you are thoughtful about how you exist in the world - we're all here together, lets be nice to each and our planet.
Happy New Year!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Here's the Story I Read at LitCrawl
I posted this story a long time ago, before it got an edit over haul thanks to awesome feedback from friends/family/professional writers who wanted me to stop with the puppy eyes and critique partners. Remember helpful feedback is appreciated, also did you know that it makes you look sexier? It does..
The noise of the electronic monitor reassured me as it beeped with metronomic regularity and I reminded myself that I had saved many people. I would do everything in my power to save this boy.
Her eyes were full of fear and fire. Her tiredness was gone. “Do it. I don’t want to loose him.”
That Which Lies Inside
By Heather Eccles
I stared as the boys’ eyes twitched in perpetual
motion, from side to side. He lay unresponsive on the hospital bed, while beads
of sweat rolled down his small heart-shaped face and into his thick, black curly
hair. The seven year old had been climbing a tree, playing and laughing with
friends at his birthday party when he fell and hit his head. The Church scriptures
said that was one of the ways that the demons could enter our bodies. Now the
demon was killing him.
His mothers’ shoulders
shook silently as she grumbled prayers and held one of his small hands. Her
eyes were hidden from me as she leaned over him but I could see the exhaustion
and fear hanging from her body as she held herself ready to do anything,
something for him. My stomach ached, as I looked at her. I hoped that I would
be able to help him.
The noise of the electronic monitor reassured me as it beeped with metronomic regularity and I reminded myself that I had saved many people. I would do everything in my power to save this boy.
Without warning, the
boy’s body began flailing violently in the bed. The soft monotonous beeping of
the monitor shrilled into alarm.
Splatters of blood flecked around the boys’
mouth as he bit his tongue. His eyes rolled back into his head and his body
jerked. I leaned over and put my weight on top of him, trying to hold him down
so that he would not hurt himself more, after several minutes of thrashing, his
body slumped and resumed its’ slack, vacancy. His pupils slid back into view
like a dolls’ and resumed their rhythmic swing - side to side. The soft beep of
the monitor returned. His mother’s prayers became sobs, as she looked at me
frantically.
“You have to do something!”
I watched his chest over her shoulders. It
moved up and down, a familiar counterpoint to the metronomic hideousness of his
eyes. I nodded at his
mother, “Yes, Ms. Gonzalez. We’ve tried everything else. I’ll have to try to
force the demon out.”
Her eyes were full of fear and fire. Her tiredness was gone. “Do it. I don’t want to loose him.”
“Yes, Ms Gonzales. I’m sorry but you will have
to stay for the ritual. He’ll need your strength.” I tried to keep my own
concerns out of my voice but she must have heard them anyway, she looked at me
sharply. “We must both give him our strength Father.” I nodded as my eyes slid
away from hers. I had had too many patients die despite my prayers. I took a
deep breath and told myself again that I could do the ritual. I had succeeded
before and I would this time as well.
Really, there was no option left, we had tried
every conventional medical therapy - nothing had worked. I had to get the demon
out. I would have to drill a hole in his skull to release pressure on his brain;
the force of the demon inside him would kill the boy otherwise. The Church said
that our prayers would then force the evil spirit out of the boy through the
hole that I created. I hoped so, for both our sakes.
Guilt made me avoid looking into Ms. Gonzalez’s
eyes as I explained what I would do. I didn’t believe in the Church as she did
any more. She believed absolutely that the gods would help her son. I
questioned whether the gods would or ever had helped my patients. Did they even
exist? Perhaps, it had always been the medications and therapies I prescribed,
not my prayers that had helped my patients. My faith and I were tired, deeply
tired, right down to my bones.
I starred at the boy’s sweet face and hoped
that this would work. I knew what would happen if I were to fail to save him. I
had lost several patients recently. There were rumors that I would be cast
down; no longer allowed to be a healer-priest. I had given my life to help
people but that didn’t matter if the gods refused to listen to my pleas.
I rubbed the prayer beads I had in my robe’s
pocket, they were as old as my time in the church, smooth and dark from my
hands, their shine was long gone and lately I had not bothered to say the rites
of protection over the beads. I rubbed them for comfort now. As was usual
lately, I received no solace from holding them.
The monitor beeped sharply to show that the
child’s heart rate was increasing; a manifestation of the building evil in his
skull or the swelling caused by the injury to his brain? Or were they were one
and the same? I had no idea.
I unclenched my jaw
and urged myself to get it over with. I turned to my aide and asked him to prepare
for the ritual.
Later, after I had washed, put on my
ceremonial robes and face paint, I returned to the boys’ room.
His mother sat in her chair next to him.
“We’re ready”.
The muscles of her neck and shoulders were
ridged as she jerked her head and rose to stand next to the boys’ head.
I prepared my tools – intravenous antibiotics
to fight infection, a blessed iron blade to shave his head, a stone borer,
sanctified water to bless the demon out and to wash away the blood and bone
fragments. My aide and I tied
the boy’s arms and legs with leather straps to help keep him still. His mother held
his hand, as he lay in the bed motionless except for his eyes, which never
stopped moving.
Looking around the
bed, I checked that everything was ready, took a deep breath and started
chanting. The droning monitor in the background was the musical accompaniment
for the ritual.
The boy’s mother reached out suddenly with
fingers of iron and grabbed my hand. I gasped and looked at her. Her eyes were
shining with tears and something else. Her hand felt fever hot as it held mine.
Her eyes didn’t move from her son’s face. I breathed deeply then restarted the
prayer, stumbling over the next few words as I watched her out of the corner of
my eye. Her eyes grew wider and bright. Her hand held mine incontrovertibly, tightening
around my fingers with desperate strength. I felt her absolute conviction as I
stuttered through the benediction despite the fact that I wanted to run away –
something that I couldn’t understand was happening, something out of my control.
The room began to feel warm around us. I finished the first rite. I could feel
my sweat merging with the paint I had smeared across my forehead and cheeks to
help bring my mind closer to the gods. As abruptly as the boy’s mother had
grabbed me, she let go of my hand – tossing it away. I froze for a moment,
unsure. Her eyes were still fixed on her son as her hands wrapped around one of
his. I tried to swallow as I felt something in the room, something heavy and I
shivered as I looked around but saw nothing.
I forced myself to concentrate. There was no
leaving now, this would either work or the boy would die. I leaned over him
with the knife and cut off his soft hair, then came the blessed water running
down his skull and onto his starched white sheets, last came the borer -
sharpened bone that I twisted around and around into his skull as I sweated
oily black paint. Drips of it fell into the pool of bright red blood that was
forming around his head as I worked.
I made the hole as big as my pinky. His blood
finally slowed to a sluggish trickle and then stopped as I finished. During the
whole procedure the only part of him that had moved were his eyes. I saw no
sign of a demon. The heavy weight that had filled the room disappeared.
“Will he live?” his mother said afterwards.
Her eyes were full of frantic fire and judgment. Her judgment scorched my
faithless heart.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to
feed her hopes.
“I.. I don’t know. We have to wait.” I
motioned to the aide to clean up and clutched the boy’s chart to my robe-covered
chest as I hurried out of his room.
Suddenly, a wave of burning cold descended
over my body as I walked. I shivered and fled down the hall. The cold invaded
my mind and seeped everywhere. I knew it would not let me go.
The rhythmic beeps of the monitor echoed down behind
me but I couldn’t hear them. I could only hear the sound of laughter echoing
inside of me, deep down inside, as I ran away.
Finis
My First Time Reading in Public or Guerrilla SpecFic in the Mission
Yesterday I had the great fortune to read one of my short stories at LitCrawl with members of the Carl Brandon Society (http://carlbrandon.org/). The Carl Brandon Society is a non-profit that promotes the visibility of writers and characters of color in speculative fiction. Please consider donating to them because they are helping to support the creation of inclusive literature. As anyone can attest who reads spec fic - there isn't enough! Speculative fiction needs more voices, more points of view - this is what spec fic is about isn't it, other points of view outside of those that are the familiar? Go buy a book by a writer of color and open your mind to a different voice.
A litle about LitCrawl, LitCrawl is held in dozens of venues throughout the Mission in San Francisco on the last day of LitQuake in three sessions. I still can't believe that it's the first place I got to read in public. I'm beyond luck.y
LitCrawl is volunteer run and coordinated. All of the venues that it is held in are donating their time and place consequently, sometimes shit goes wrong. In our case there was no one to open the place where we were supposed to read! So Emily Jiang, Ayize Jama-Everett and I read on the street, yelling our stories like guerrilla street writers. It was completely awesome, we over came car alarms, rap music and city noise. I think people could hear us (we clustered tightly) and it was a complete blast.
I want to give a shout out to Na'amen Tilahun for coordinating a great Carl Brandon event and then later for his own reading: an excellent, scary werewolf story. Na'amen is completely awesome.
I also want to give a shout out to Emily Jiang (http://www.emilyjiang.com/) who writes some beautiful fiction, go check her stuff out because if you haven't, you should! Also, I'd like to encourage you to check out Ayize's work: http://blog.shelfari.com/my_weblog/2012/02/i-dissolve-tough-like-acid-ayize-jama-everett-and-the-liminal-people.html as well, good stuff.
Go buy their stories lovely people - support writers of color, open your minds to new experiences, it's good for your minds and possibly your soul.
A litle about LitCrawl, LitCrawl is held in dozens of venues throughout the Mission in San Francisco on the last day of LitQuake in three sessions. I still can't believe that it's the first place I got to read in public. I'm beyond luck.y
LitCrawl is volunteer run and coordinated. All of the venues that it is held in are donating their time and place consequently, sometimes shit goes wrong. In our case there was no one to open the place where we were supposed to read! So Emily Jiang, Ayize Jama-Everett and I read on the street, yelling our stories like guerrilla street writers. It was completely awesome, we over came car alarms, rap music and city noise. I think people could hear us (we clustered tightly) and it was a complete blast.
I want to give a shout out to Na'amen Tilahun for coordinating a great Carl Brandon event and then later for his own reading: an excellent, scary werewolf story. Na'amen is completely awesome.
I also want to give a shout out to Emily Jiang (http://www.emilyjiang.com/) who writes some beautiful fiction, go check her stuff out because if you haven't, you should! Also, I'd like to encourage you to check out Ayize's work: http://blog.shelfari.com/my_weblog/2012/02/i-dissolve-tough-like-acid-ayize-jama-everett-and-the-liminal-people.html as well, good stuff.
Go buy their stories lovely people - support writers of color, open your minds to new experiences, it's good for your minds and possibly your soul.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Favorite lesbian characters in SF/F/Paranormal/Manga/Comics
Catherine Lundoff asked me on twitter what my favorite lesbian scifi & lesbian characters were. Strangely, I didn't have a list. So I whipped one up. I offer it to you (in case you're looking for some reading). Have favorites that you want to share? Please do!
Bon appétit!
Ren Sagura - Solitaire by Kelley Eskridge
Lore - Slow River by Nicola Griffith
Milena - The Child Garden by Geoff Ryman
Zanja - Fire Logic by Laurie Marks
India - Trouble and Her Friends by Melissa Scott
Lythande - Thieves World
Maya - The Fortunate Fall by Raphael Carter
Sorren - The Northern Girl by Elizabeth Lynn
Persephone - The Dark Wife by Sarah Diemer
Ash - Ash by Malinda Lo
Batwoman - Greg Rucka (comic)
Kurogane Hayate - HayatexBlade (manga)
Utena - Revolutionary Girl Utena (manga/anime)
Neviril - Simoun (anime)
A-Ko and B-Ko - Project A-Ko (anime)
Scandal Savage - Secret Six by Gail Simone (comic) - best villainess ever. Ok, I love the White Queen as well.. but she's not a lesbian.
Kassandra - Witch Wolf by Winter Pennington (paranormal)
Bon appétit!
Ren Sagura - Solitaire by Kelley Eskridge
Lore - Slow River by Nicola Griffith
Milena - The Child Garden by Geoff Ryman
Zanja - Fire Logic by Laurie Marks
India - Trouble and Her Friends by Melissa Scott
Lythande - Thieves World
Maya - The Fortunate Fall by Raphael Carter
Sorren - The Northern Girl by Elizabeth Lynn
Persephone - The Dark Wife by Sarah Diemer
Ash - Ash by Malinda Lo
Batwoman - Greg Rucka (comic)
Kurogane Hayate - HayatexBlade (manga)
Utena - Revolutionary Girl Utena (manga/anime)
Neviril - Simoun (anime)
A-Ko and B-Ko - Project A-Ko (anime)
Scandal Savage - Secret Six by Gail Simone (comic) - best villainess ever. Ok, I love the White Queen as well.. but she's not a lesbian.
Kassandra - Witch Wolf by Winter Pennington (paranormal)
Monday, July 2, 2012
Fear and self-loathing on the word trail
I'm in a bad mood because I'm not happy with my writing this week. I've been trying to work on a book, write short stories (fiction and non-fiction) and get back to blogging.
I'm on vacation as well at the moment which is lovely but I'm not getting writing time. This is a very short vacation though so I'm accepting that sometimes writing can't happen.
I'm frustrated because a) I don't know how this book I'm working on ends b) I've got 3 or 4 short stories that are half-way through first drafts and I don't like them and I'm not even sure why c) I'm editing several short stories that are complete rough drafts but now I don't like them and d) I've gone backwards on my book and am attempting to outline it because it's taken a left turn at the crossroads when I thought we were going right. I usually love that as I write my stories take on lives of their own and go to unexpected places. I often find myself somewhere unexpected and wonderful but it's really ticking me off on this book. There are a lot of points that all need to be interwoven. I can't just suddenly end up in Pismo Beach like Bugs Bunny, nothing will make sense! So in an attempt to reel my mind in I'm trying to outline it. This has been both fun and frustrating so far. Doing mind maps and figuring out all the connections is great and easy as I'm a highly visual person however I seem to be stuck on what happens after the middle. That thing called the end - no clue what it is.
I've outlined what I've written currently, not the original story that I was going to write. I've decided that I like where the story started going even though it has little relationship to what I initially envisioned however, I knew how the original story ended and how everything wove together. I shouldn't say that. I should say that I had an idea of how they did but since it wasn't on paper, it was more of an amorphous idea of how everything interrelated.
Essentially, this is my "pant'sing" problem. It's easy for me to pants a short story but there are just too many threads for this to work in a novel. This is a recurring issue for me - Iv'e got several book projects partially completed and dying on my computer because I got stuck. This attempt at outlining is my latest attempt to push through and finish a book before I pull out all of my hair. The only thing that makes me feel better is that I know many people have this problem - safety in numbers. Then why do I still feel like a tiger is eyeing my juicy flank? I bet this is when Raymond Carver started drinking.
To work around this I have been focusing on poetry and short fiction so that my head doesn't explode. When I feel patient and non-judgmental with myself I play with the mind map and write POV scenes for the characters to try to figure out where they want to go. Mostly, I'm working on short stories and poetry.
My real worry is that the story will suck because I haven't done justice to it either by writing it well or by honoring my characters. When you write don't you fall in love in some way with your characters and want them to live the life that they deserve on paper? That's my fear that I won't successfully accomplish this. Of course since the characters are products of my own head, by inference I worry that I won't honor myself with the words that I put down. I'm sure that I'm not the only one who feels this one either.
"The tongue of man is a twisty thing, there are plenty of words there of every kind."
- Homer
I'm on vacation as well at the moment which is lovely but I'm not getting writing time. This is a very short vacation though so I'm accepting that sometimes writing can't happen.
I'm frustrated because a) I don't know how this book I'm working on ends b) I've got 3 or 4 short stories that are half-way through first drafts and I don't like them and I'm not even sure why c) I'm editing several short stories that are complete rough drafts but now I don't like them and d) I've gone backwards on my book and am attempting to outline it because it's taken a left turn at the crossroads when I thought we were going right. I usually love that as I write my stories take on lives of their own and go to unexpected places. I often find myself somewhere unexpected and wonderful but it's really ticking me off on this book. There are a lot of points that all need to be interwoven. I can't just suddenly end up in Pismo Beach like Bugs Bunny, nothing will make sense! So in an attempt to reel my mind in I'm trying to outline it. This has been both fun and frustrating so far. Doing mind maps and figuring out all the connections is great and easy as I'm a highly visual person however I seem to be stuck on what happens after the middle. That thing called the end - no clue what it is.
I've outlined what I've written currently, not the original story that I was going to write. I've decided that I like where the story started going even though it has little relationship to what I initially envisioned however, I knew how the original story ended and how everything wove together. I shouldn't say that. I should say that I had an idea of how they did but since it wasn't on paper, it was more of an amorphous idea of how everything interrelated.
Essentially, this is my "pant'sing" problem. It's easy for me to pants a short story but there are just too many threads for this to work in a novel. This is a recurring issue for me - Iv'e got several book projects partially completed and dying on my computer because I got stuck. This attempt at outlining is my latest attempt to push through and finish a book before I pull out all of my hair. The only thing that makes me feel better is that I know many people have this problem - safety in numbers. Then why do I still feel like a tiger is eyeing my juicy flank? I bet this is when Raymond Carver started drinking.
To work around this I have been focusing on poetry and short fiction so that my head doesn't explode. When I feel patient and non-judgmental with myself I play with the mind map and write POV scenes for the characters to try to figure out where they want to go. Mostly, I'm working on short stories and poetry.
My real worry is that the story will suck because I haven't done justice to it either by writing it well or by honoring my characters. When you write don't you fall in love in some way with your characters and want them to live the life that they deserve on paper? That's my fear that I won't successfully accomplish this. Of course since the characters are products of my own head, by inference I worry that I won't honor myself with the words that I put down. I'm sure that I'm not the only one who feels this one either.
"The tongue of man is a twisty thing, there are plenty of words there of every kind."
- Homer
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Baycon is still tasty
This is the second long post discussing writing panels that I attended at BayCon this year.
I attended the "Aspiring Writers Toolkit" panel with Maya Kaathryn Bohnoff, BookView Cafe (http://www.mysticfig.com/), Todd McCaffrey (http://pernhome.com/tjm/), Brandon Sanderson (http://www.brandonsanderson.com/) and Margaret McGaffey Fisk, Forward Motion (http://margaretmcgaffeyfisk.com/) as panelists. I 'm not sure what my expectations were for this panel. The con guide said that the panelists were going to discuss writing workshops (I've been considering going to one, although I'm not sure which one). I remember having the feeling that more would be discussed. I was right. I'll attempt to sensibly relay the info dump that ensued. If you have questions please comment and I'll try to clarify. I've been assured that this here interwebs goes two ways so I can answer you back.
The first thing out of the panelists mouths was "go to Clarion". For those not in the know Clarion is a six week writing workshop for writers of science fiction and fantasy - yes, six weeks. If that sounds like boot camp, past attendees have told me that it is. If you google Clarion you will find a wealth of attendees' blogs discussing their experiences at Clarion. I like to read these because I want to know what they recommend to read and hear what they learned. Invariably, I find good stories to read as well.
Clarion West (Seattle): http://www.clarionwest.org/
Clarion (held at UCSD): http://literature.ucsd.edu/affiliated-programs/clarion/index.html
*Clarion South (Australia) - http://www.clarionsouth.org/
*Unfortunately, Clarion South is on hold due to venue issues right now. I'm including the link to their website so that you can check out writing info on their website.*
Other recommended workshops were Odyssey and Viable Paradise.
Odyssey (Manchester, NH): http://www.sff.net/odyssey/
Viable Paradise (Martha's Vineyard): http://www.sff.net/paradise/
For those who like podcasts, Odyssey has free podcasts of some of their lectures available on iTunes - highly recommended!
There was a short discussion of online writing resources like Holly Lisle's workshops and Critters (both were recommended).
On Feedback and Critique:
Brandon Sanderson -
Writing Groups and Beta Readers
Brandon Sanderson -
Margaret McGaffey Fisk -
I attended the "Aspiring Writers Toolkit" panel with Maya Kaathryn Bohnoff, BookView Cafe (http://www.mysticfig.com/), Todd McCaffrey (http://pernhome.com/tjm/), Brandon Sanderson (http://www.brandonsanderson.com/) and Margaret McGaffey Fisk, Forward Motion (http://margaretmcgaffeyfisk.com/) as panelists. I 'm not sure what my expectations were for this panel. The con guide said that the panelists were going to discuss writing workshops (I've been considering going to one, although I'm not sure which one). I remember having the feeling that more would be discussed. I was right. I'll attempt to sensibly relay the info dump that ensued. If you have questions please comment and I'll try to clarify. I've been assured that this here interwebs goes two ways so I can answer you back.
Aspiring Writers Toolkit
On Workshops:
Clarion West (Seattle): http://www.clarionwest.org/
Clarion (held at UCSD): http://literature.ucsd.edu/affiliated-programs/clarion/index.html
*Clarion South (Australia) - http://www.clarionsouth.org/
*Unfortunately, Clarion South is on hold due to venue issues right now. I'm including the link to their website so that you can check out writing info on their website.*
Other recommended workshops were Odyssey and Viable Paradise.
Odyssey (Manchester, NH): http://www.sff.net/odyssey/
Viable Paradise (Martha's Vineyard): http://www.sff.net/paradise/
For those who like podcasts, Odyssey has free podcasts of some of their lectures available on iTunes - highly recommended!
There was a short discussion of online writing resources like Holly Lisle's workshops and Critters (both were recommended).
On Feedback and Critique:
Brandon Sanderson -
- When giving critique, say what is working in a piece first.
- When giving critique on a story avoid being proscriptive, be descriptive - explain how the piece made you feel, don't tell the author to change sentences or point of view, etc. It is up to the author to figure out how to respond to your statements on how the piece made you feel, giving criticism does not mean that you should tell an author how to "fix it".
- When receiving feedback: don't defend or explain your piece, write descriptions of how the readers reacted during the critique - this can be invaluable when looking over their feedback later.
- Look at feedback after you finish the draft you're on.
Maya Kaathryn Bohnoff -
- Make sure that you know sentence structure, the purpose of the different parts of sentences and understand basic grammar.
- Don't be nice in your criticism, don't be mean.
- Telling an author 'I don't like X' doesn't give an author enough information to help them resolve a problem in the piece - be descriptive in your feedback.
Todd McCaffrey -
- You can over-workshop a story. Figure out when to stop workshopping a piece.
Margaret McGaffey Fisk
- If you over-workshop a story the initial spark will die.
- When critiquing, read the piece with the assumption that you will love it - this will affect your critique.
- Practice writing synopses - write one as part of your critique of a story. It will tell the author what you thought the story was as opposed to the one the author thinks they wrote.
Writing Groups and Beta Readers
Brandon Sanderson -
- Writers groups are horrible at finding problems with pacing in books because they often read a chapter at a time. Beta readers are great at finding story issues like poor pacing because they read the whole thing together. He recommends that you use both for book feedback.
- Don't let the group get stuck or emphasize small problems that can easily be fixed like spelling errors.
- Don't workshop a piece until it's done - you may end up changing it to fix criticism and loose what made your story good.
Margaret McGaffey Fisk -
- Writing groups want a lot of information up front about a book because they are reading chapters separately. They want the information so that they have context for the chapters. This can be problematic because they may miss things like pacing problems or plot holes.
- Feedback summary notes from someone else at the critique can be helpful so that you don't miss something while you are listening to the critique comments.
- Writers groups can get stuck on the "rules". The rules are things like don't start a book with a prologue, don't use flashbacks, etc. Be careful not to let the group get stuck on these - they're not written in stone.
- Track changes and the different stages of critique on a story.
Todd McCaffrey -
- Keep old versions of stories. Don't torment yourself by reading them, but keep them for reference. Come up with a naming system for your files so that you know which ones are old versus latest.
Books/How-to's on writing
Maya Kaathryn Bohnoff -
- Watch out for "How-to's". If a book lays out dogma, put it back. Everyone's process for writing is different.
- Read professional writers books on writing (Lawrence Block and Stephen King).
- If a book on writing doesn't click put it down.
- Check when the book was written - look for more current books as times change so does writing advice and information.
Brandon Sanderson -
- Don't just read "How-to's" - write!
- Try a book, if it doesn't work for you drop it and keep trying.
Book recommendations:
Todd McCaffrey -
- "Self Editing for Fiction Writers" - Renni Browne & Dave King
- "Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You'll Ever Need" by Blake Snyder - Todd said it was great for outlining.
Maya Kaathryn Bohnoff -
- "Writing Great Screenplays for Film and TV" by Donna Cooper
- "Danse Macabre" by Stephen King
All panelists recommended "On Writing" by Stephen King.
On Editors/Editing/Publishing
Maya Kaathryn Bohnoff -
- Edit as well as you can before hiring a professional editor. Get a beta reader before hiring an editor.
- It breaks Maya's heart when a writer doesn't want to learn craft and how to edit their work. If you hire a profesional editor try to learn from them how to edit.
- Make sure to check an editors past work and references before you hire them!
- There are two types of editors, freelance editors and instructional editors. Freelance editors fix the writing, instructional editors fix the writing and show you how to do these fixes yourself.
- On book doctors: book doctors are often hired by people who just don't want to edit their work.
- Be careful of what a freelance editor does to your story, it may not be what you want.
- Don't pay someone to look at or publish your book. You shouldn't have to pay a publisher (self-publishing is different obviously).
- You shouldn't have to pay an agent - they take a percentage of sales.
Brandon Sanderson -
- Watch out for scams involving book doctors who work for fake agencies. Watch out for scams period!
- A reason to hire a book doctor would be to see what a professional editor would do with the book, other than that there isn't really a good reason to hire one.
General thoughts on writing
Maya Kaathryn Bohnoff -
Maya Kaathryn Bohnoff -
- Deadlines are great. If you don't have one, make one up. It will help you write more tightly.
Contests
Brandon Sanderson -
- Be skeptical of contest fees. Check Writer Beware (http://www.sfwa.org/for-authors/writer-beware/) - it has info on scams.
- Some genres do have contest fees - romance for example. Research a genre to see what is normal before you pay.
Todd McCaffrey -
- Highly recommends that people enter the "Writers of the Future" contest - winners are well regarded (Todd was a judge this year).
That's the end of the panel comments. That was quite a bit of info for you to digest. I hope this was helpful. Again, if you have any questions please feel free to comment. Happy writing!
Friday, June 15, 2012
A bit of BayCon for writers - lean and crispy
BayCon was a few weeks ago and I've been trying to get this post done since then but alas and alack it didn't happen in a timely manner - apologies. I'm going to break this into two blog posts because there is a lot of information. Please enjoy part one.
During BayCon, I was able to go to a few writing panels and readings and meet up with some of the wonderful members of the Outer Alliance. I had a wonderful time. BayCon is held on the same weekend as WisCon, which is unfortunate for those who would like to go to both.
My first panel was Jay Hartlove's "So You Want to Write a Novel" panel on Saturday. Jay discussed getting publishing and gave a bunch of useful info in regards to getting a book written. He discussed getting his most recent book out, including some of the hoops he jumped through and choices he made regarding publishing before he went with Damnation Press (who he has been very happy with). You should go check out his book, it looks like a fun read - I'm always up for a good paranormal/horror. I've added it to my "to-read" list. Go check it out: "The Chosen" by Jay Hartlove
Jay gave us a handout with some words of wisdom on writing - the following bullets are from Jay Hartlove (http://jaywrites.com/) except those in italics, which are mine.
"Jay's Hartlove's Rules for Getting Things Done"
- You don't need passion to express yourself. For that you need skill. You need passion to get excited enough about a project to sacrifice doing anything else with your time.
- If an idea doesn't get you excited enough to see it through to fruit, then it probably isn't a good enough idea to spend your time on.
- Until real inspiration strikes, do exercises to keep your skill honed & to keep yourself in the habit of being creative. Collect ideas that can be used to develop an actual project once one takes shape.
- Some projects aren't supposed to get finished. Many half-finished projects are better viewed as prototypes and exercises in skill building. Don't fret that they didn't get done, be glad they helped you prepare for when real inspiration hits.
- Something is better than nothing. A blank page is daunting. Don't be afraid that you are going to start in the wrong place. Even if you later decide your start is garbage, you will have started. Which is better than not having started.
- A nearly finished work can be as frightening as an un-started one. In both cases you are paralyzed by the fear that you are going to do the wrong thing next. You get over the finish-it fear the same as you do the start-it fear: you just do what next comes to mind, knowing that it is better to put down something you know you are going to change than to put down nothing at all. Because...
- They are just words on paper that can always be changed. What matters is the story you are telling and the effect you are having on your reader, not the words you choose. Words are the tools and the medium, not the message. Focus on getting the message right. Yes, good prose matters. Dialogue that sounds appropriate to each different character matters. But these are all just words on paper and you can go back and change them later if you want to.
- You know you're done writing when each time you go back to rethink a passage, you find you like the way you have it already written.
- You know you've done your job when your critics no longer comment on whether you have successfully communicated your message. They may love or hate your message, but if you have made it clear, then you've done your job. You can now move on to the next project.
Other points that Jay made during his talk were:
- Have a clear mission statement - a one line synopsis of your story. The synopsis is not the moral of the story, it's an explanation of what happens.
- This one happens to me routinely: Don't put too many stories in your story. Pick which story you are telling and stick with it. Jay isn't saying that you can't have multiple story lines, however they should converge to tell one main story.
- This is one I hadn't heard before: Write down every decision that you make for your story. If you decide that character A has an antagonistic relationship with his aunt and uncle - write it down along with your reasons for making this decision, so that you can stay on track or back track if you need to. I think I prefer to have character biographies and notes on plot, conflict, and setting instead of this. For me, comprehensive notes take care of the need to back track/stay on track around particular decisions but everyone has their way of doing things; maybe this is because I'm a pantser. Perhaps, I'll change my mind when I finally force myself to start outlining.
- The end - refer to your mission statement to figure out the ending. Have you fulfilled your mission statement?
- The hook - this means 'why this book'. A hook is what sets it apart from all the other books in the world and you need to know exactly what your hook is if you try to sell it to a publisher or get an agent.
- Agents - write and practice a thirty second elevator pitch for your book. An elevator pitch is a 'what would you say if you had 30 seconds to get an agent interested in your book' speech. Jay suggests that you refine this speech until it's a diamond that an agent can't resist.
- Jay discussed a blog post by Kristine Kathryn Rusch, in which she discusses how traditional publishing works, the effect self-publishing has had on the book industry and how all of this affects authors: The scarcity and abundance model. I highly recommend this article. It made a lot of things clear to me that I hadn't understood before about the publishing industry.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
FogCon and writing
It's been eons since I went to a con. Last minute I decided to head on over to FogCon (www.fogcon.org). I was only able to attend for one day but it was worth the drive out to Walnut Creek to meet some fabulous people and learn some good stuff. Read on and benefit my dearies.
I hit part of the Occupy SF/F panel, Nalo Hopkinson's very fun & interactive presentation on children's games with Ellen Klages, an informative and supportive panel titled "You are Not Your Rejection Slips" and a panel on body image.
I have to say the "You are Not Your Rejection Slips" panel gave me warm fuzzies. It was nice to be in a room with other people who were writing which doesn't happen as often as I wish (I'm on hiatus from my writing group this semester). Hearing other writers talk about writing is like suddenly finding yourself in group therapy with other crazy people who don't think you are completely irredeemable while every non-writer acts as if you are, even if they love you. Non-writers do not want to hear about your plots, characterization, story arcs, your whinging, complaining and confusion because the words are acting differently on the page than the vision that is in your head and all of the myriad other writing blah-blah-blah's that our friends, loved ones, coworkers and therapists get deluged with. I'm guessing that it can be boring.
*My wife is now kindly and very firmly confirming that it can be boring.*
I don't blame her. I find it boring to listen to people obsess when I have no interest in their obsession. Seemingly,all most people who write become a bit obsessive over it. It's because it is so freaking hard to get it right! Well, it is for me, maybe it's easy for you but it's my blog dammit so I get to say it's hard for me.
Being in a roomful of writers was empowering. We were united in trying to get published, all of us were frustrated, disheartened and confused - strength in masses. The panel moderator was Cassie Alexander. The editors were John Joseph Adams (Lightspeed), Gabrielle Harbowy (Dragon Moon Press, http://www.gabrielle-edits.com/), and Christie Yant (Lightspeed). Cassie asked the editors one question that I have wondered about many times. Do editors actually read stories submitted by an author who has submitted previously and been rejected? The answer from JJA (John Joseph Adams) was yes, Lightspeed will read stories from people that have submitted hundreds of times even if they have rejected them previously. He said he always hopes that this story is the one that he gets to publish (it's happened several times before) and that as far as he was aware all editors of publications did. By the way JJA seemed like a genuinely nice guy. He went out of his way to say kind and supportive things. I'm sure he wouldn't accept a story if he didn't like it but I think that he tries to be fair and as considerate as possible about our babies that we throw to the wolves of possible rejection, which is really all I ask. Also, all of the editors on the panel said that they have had to reject well known authors - it really is about the piece, not the authors name. I imagine that that could sting for a published author. Rejection sucks for everyone regardless of experience.
Anyway, I've never submitted to Lightspeed but now I will as well as other markets. It was a great pleasure to meet Rachel Swirsky (seriously, a very nice person who was wonderfully informative and kind to this newbie) who told me about Ralan for spec fic markets (http://www.ralan.com/) and of course Duotrope (http://duotrope.com/) which is an amazing resource for finding markets for all kinds of writing. Duotrope is where I've found places to send poetry and literary fiction as well as spec fic. If you use Ralan or Duotrope to find markets please consider sending them a few bucks so that they can continue to help other writers. They spend a lot of time helping us, so give back please.
I had the great pleasure of getting to hangout with Charlie Jane Anders who did the best karaoke version of What is Hip? by Tower of Power that I have ever and probably will, ever see. It was epic.
It was also wonderful to get to meet Lisa Eckstein (http://www.lisaeckstein.com/), Juliette Wade (http://talktoyouniverse.blogspot.com/), Naamen Tilahun (http://naamenblog.wordpress.com/), Laurie Toby Edison (Body Impolitic: http://laurietobyedison.com/discuss/), Debbie Notkin, and Keffy Kehrli (http://kehrli.livejournal.com/) and the many, many other folks who I didn't get cards or info from but all of whom were full of the curiosity, kindness, imagination and intellectual force that make sci fi and fantasy conventions ridiculously fun.
I hit part of the Occupy SF/F panel, Nalo Hopkinson's very fun & interactive presentation on children's games with Ellen Klages, an informative and supportive panel titled "You are Not Your Rejection Slips" and a panel on body image.
I have to say the "You are Not Your Rejection Slips" panel gave me warm fuzzies. It was nice to be in a room with other people who were writing which doesn't happen as often as I wish (I'm on hiatus from my writing group this semester). Hearing other writers talk about writing is like suddenly finding yourself in group therapy with other crazy people who don't think you are completely irredeemable while every non-writer acts as if you are, even if they love you. Non-writers do not want to hear about your plots, characterization, story arcs, your whinging, complaining and confusion because the words are acting differently on the page than the vision that is in your head and all of the myriad other writing blah-blah-blah's that our friends, loved ones, coworkers and therapists get deluged with. I'm guessing that it can be boring.
*My wife is now kindly and very firmly confirming that it can be boring.*
I don't blame her. I find it boring to listen to people obsess when I have no interest in their obsession. Seemingly,
Being in a roomful of writers was empowering. We were united in trying to get published, all of us were frustrated, disheartened and confused - strength in masses. The panel moderator was Cassie Alexander. The editors were John Joseph Adams (Lightspeed), Gabrielle Harbowy (Dragon Moon Press, http://www.gabrielle-edits.com/), and Christie Yant (Lightspeed). Cassie asked the editors one question that I have wondered about many times. Do editors actually read stories submitted by an author who has submitted previously and been rejected? The answer from JJA (John Joseph Adams) was yes, Lightspeed will read stories from people that have submitted hundreds of times even if they have rejected them previously. He said he always hopes that this story is the one that he gets to publish (it's happened several times before) and that as far as he was aware all editors of publications did. By the way JJA seemed like a genuinely nice guy. He went out of his way to say kind and supportive things. I'm sure he wouldn't accept a story if he didn't like it but I think that he tries to be fair and as considerate as possible about our babies that we throw to the wolves of possible rejection, which is really all I ask. Also, all of the editors on the panel said that they have had to reject well known authors - it really is about the piece, not the authors name. I imagine that that could sting for a published author. Rejection sucks for everyone regardless of experience.
Anyway, I've never submitted to Lightspeed but now I will as well as other markets. It was a great pleasure to meet Rachel Swirsky (seriously, a very nice person who was wonderfully informative and kind to this newbie) who told me about Ralan for spec fic markets (http://www.ralan.com/) and of course Duotrope (http://duotrope.com/) which is an amazing resource for finding markets for all kinds of writing. Duotrope is where I've found places to send poetry and literary fiction as well as spec fic. If you use Ralan or Duotrope to find markets please consider sending them a few bucks so that they can continue to help other writers. They spend a lot of time helping us, so give back please.
I had the great pleasure of getting to hangout with Charlie Jane Anders who did the best karaoke version of What is Hip? by Tower of Power that I have ever and probably will, ever see. It was epic.
It was also wonderful to get to meet Lisa Eckstein (http://www.lisaeckstein.com/), Juliette Wade (http://talktoyouniverse.blogspot.com/), Naamen Tilahun (http://naamenblog.wordpress.com/), Laurie Toby Edison (Body Impolitic: http://laurietobyedison.com/discuss/), Debbie Notkin, and Keffy Kehrli (http://kehrli.livejournal.com/) and the many, many other folks who I didn't get cards or info from but all of whom were full of the curiosity, kindness, imagination and intellectual force that make sci fi and fantasy conventions ridiculously fun.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Time is my most precious commodity
I had such high hopes that I would write daily.
I had it planned and scheduled which was painful for me as I hate/loath/am allergic to scheduling. I really wanted to make time to write though so I had a stern talking with my inner anti-time keeping device, just want to play Skyrim naked or read, inner child. I got her to agree that creating and sticking to a writing schedule was a brilliant idea that I would enjoy - and I did for all of one month. Then my classes entered a new phase in which I had to pay attention to them or suffer the consequences. My writing schedule sailed off like a cut-string kite.
I'm up to my eyeballs in school this semester. I haven't done any photography since Christmas. I've written one shitty first draft of a short story since school started and I feel like my neck is going to snap from jerking away from the ideas that roll with rhythmic inevitability through my brain trying to grow into time consuming to get down, stories or poems. The enormity of trying to memorize, understand, synthesize, and regurgitate the vast quantity of stuff I'm supposed to know for school jerks me the other way. I had to pick and school won. I have let myself write a little when I can and I promised myself this: Yamazaki whiskey if I do well this semester. I'm going to be going to graduate school some day so I have to be a good little student now while getting my BS and work my ass off to get good grades.
Since I don't want to loose the random ideas I have, I've started using Evernote (http://www.evernote.com/) to keep track of things that pop into my brain. It has been wonderful. I've kept notes on ideas for dialogue, plot, characterization, tidbits of research, overheard things I like, and random pictures and links I come across that give me ideas. It's incredible and free. It syncs between my phone and my laptop and did I mention it's free? I highly recommend it as a great time and mental peace saver.
Strangely, I think this time has been good for my book. The ideas that I had that I wasn't sure of have crystallized or been tossed and the whole thing feels as if it will be less shaky and liable to fall over when I get time to actually put the rest of the words down. I seem to be acquiring something called "planning" which has always sounded like "scheduling" to me, so of course I hated it with a passion. However, I want to write well and while I've accepted that my first draft will be crummy, I do want it to get better with subsequent drafts, be enjoyable and tell the story that is becoming clearer in my brain every day.
I guess my inner child is growing to accept that constraints like restraints, can be fun when used with care - they can actually be quite satisfying.
I had it planned and scheduled which was painful for me as I hate/loath/am allergic to scheduling. I really wanted to make time to write though so I had a stern talking with my inner anti-time keeping device, just want to play Skyrim naked or read, inner child. I got her to agree that creating and sticking to a writing schedule was a brilliant idea that I would enjoy - and I did for all of one month. Then my classes entered a new phase in which I had to pay attention to them or suffer the consequences. My writing schedule sailed off like a cut-string kite.
I'm up to my eyeballs in school this semester. I haven't done any photography since Christmas. I've written one shitty first draft of a short story since school started and I feel like my neck is going to snap from jerking away from the ideas that roll with rhythmic inevitability through my brain trying to grow into time consuming to get down, stories or poems. The enormity of trying to memorize, understand, synthesize, and regurgitate the vast quantity of stuff I'm supposed to know for school jerks me the other way. I had to pick and school won. I have let myself write a little when I can and I promised myself this: Yamazaki whiskey if I do well this semester. I'm going to be going to graduate school some day so I have to be a good little student now while getting my BS and work my ass off to get good grades.
Since I don't want to loose the random ideas I have, I've started using Evernote (http://www.evernote.com/) to keep track of things that pop into my brain. It has been wonderful. I've kept notes on ideas for dialogue, plot, characterization, tidbits of research, overheard things I like, and random pictures and links I come across that give me ideas. It's incredible and free. It syncs between my phone and my laptop and did I mention it's free? I highly recommend it as a great time and mental peace saver.
Strangely, I think this time has been good for my book. The ideas that I had that I wasn't sure of have crystallized or been tossed and the whole thing feels as if it will be less shaky and liable to fall over when I get time to actually put the rest of the words down. I seem to be acquiring something called "planning" which has always sounded like "scheduling" to me, so of course I hated it with a passion. However, I want to write well and while I've accepted that my first draft will be crummy, I do want it to get better with subsequent drafts, be enjoyable and tell the story that is becoming clearer in my brain every day.
I guess my inner child is growing to accept that constraints like restraints, can be fun when used with care - they can actually be quite satisfying.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Let yourself suck at writing and embrace being a beginner
Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public.
– Winston Churchill
This is part of the reason I hate word counts. They make me feel like there must be something completely wrong with me because I can't do that. I then have to remind myself, yes, I can't do that now. I'm a beginner. If I continue to write maybe some day I will be able to do that. Maybe, but maybe not.
I remind myself that I need to let myself suck at writing every time I hear some writer (usually on twitter #amwriting) say, "I just wrote 35 thousand words and I've got another 2 thousand planned out for this evening" and because I am not made of Italian marble that lets everything roll of it, I think "Jeebus, I've never written that much in a day. How did I ever think that I could possibly do this. I suck!!"
This is part of the reason I hate word counts. They make me feel like there must be something completely wrong with me because I can't do that. I then have to remind myself, yes, I can't do that now. I'm a beginner. If I continue to write maybe some day I will be able to do that. Maybe, but maybe not.
I'm working on my first book which will probably suck and that's okay, because I am a beginner. If it is only ever read by my wife because she loves me and I get to torture her consequently, that is okay. Because the next book or short story will be better from what I learned writing the first book.
We writers are often perfectionists, I certainly am. I want the exact right words to flow out of me like water, I want to always know where this story is going, I want pats on the back and permission to feel complete because I did it perfectly. I wrote the perfect sentence, short story, or book and everyone loves it because I am awesome. I've been working on the idea of giving myself permission to feel complete even if I don't get the exact right words, even if the story doesn't make sense in the first draft (the number of writers who do not write a shitty first draft is infinitesimally low according to my non-scientific survey of authors who have written about their writing processes) and I rewrite it ten times and although it's better it still isn't perfect. I have to consciously tell myself, "that's okay, next time will be better". I encourage you to do give this to yourself as well, whether it comes up for you while writing or trying to learn to play the guitar or at work. There is this toxic concept in our society that being perfect is healthy, it's not. What's healthy is to let yourself screw up and learn from it without judgement. Do this for yourself, do this for your family, do this for your coworkers and we'd all get along better and be more at peace with what we do.
There is a concept in Zen buddhism called shoshin which basically means beginner's mind. It's the idea that as a beginner we are open to the possibilities, we are untainted by experience and can try any old damn thing we please without preconceived ideas of how it will or will not work. I recommend for the new year that regardless of your level of writing experience you aim for shoshin - be a beginner. Being a beginner is actually a good thing.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Holidazed
I've fallen in love with the world again.
It's so fucking beautiful and so wrong, how can it can contain itself?
The soggy gray light is dripping on the incarcerated aluminum holiday bows. They are dying together in the cold winter air of San Francisco.
An origami man is folding into himself on the corner. He can't retain his shape as he rocks slowly, back and forth. The haphazard clumps of his brown hair match the desperation in his eyes - they are flying in all directions, together.
It's so fucking beautiful and so wrong, how can it can contain itself?
The soggy gray light is dripping on the incarcerated aluminum holiday bows. They are dying together in the cold winter air of San Francisco.
An origami man is folding into himself on the corner. He can't retain his shape as he rocks slowly, back and forth. The haphazard clumps of his brown hair match the desperation in his eyes - they are flying in all directions, together.
Coming Soon!
I'm working on some book reviews that I'll be putting up in the next few days as well as some short fiction. Stay tuned!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Simplified
My broken list is long - bones, feelings and insight.
I live for the damages, in breaking wrongness, sometimes we make right.
Negative space defines just as much as the positive.
Love your dark and your light and treat yourself with kindness.
I live for the damages, in breaking wrongness, sometimes we make right.
Negative space defines just as much as the positive.
Love your dark and your light and treat yourself with kindness.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The Angels are Singing
I knew a man once who called me Angel but only while I was sleeping on the couch that had lost its color before I had lost my virginity more than a decade ago.
I would pretend to be asleep to listen to his nonsense.
"Angel", I'd hear him tell our coworkers, "worked hard today, let her sleep. She looks so innocent don't she, when she's asleep? Soon as she wakes up though. Lord that mouth. But she's cute ain't she, like a baby tiger. Never know it's gonna claw you or purr."
Our coworkers would laugh and nod, "Uh-uh, Uh-huh".
"She's strong", his voice full of approval, "Lord knows, this world you need to be strong."
The coworkers would all nod, "Uh-huh, Uh-huh".
He had seizures. They would hit him and his body would drop to the ground and his eyes would roll in his head like a cheap carnival doll. They got progressively worse, lasting longer, happening more frequently - his own personal earthquakes that were gradually shaking his brain into smaller and smaller pieces. There was nothing the doctors could do.
I asked him what it was like to have a seizure, he told me that the heavenly choir was pouring over him like the flood, all he could do was try to swim cause all there was, was the singing of angels surrounding him as far as he could see, and all he could do was try not to slide under it because it held him like water, and tossed him around like a thought and he knew he could drown in it and there was nothing he could do but try to swim.
"Every time I get thrown farther. Sometime, it's gonna happen. I won't come back." I could hear the fear in his voice and all I could think was, what do you say when someone knows they're gonna die?
I asked him once for fun, what color is heaven? He threw his head back, his eyebrows rose, his face squeezed shut like a slammed door, and he nodded his head as if he was agreeing with some voice. "Heaven is the color of God's love".
I couldn't laugh at the thoughts of a dying man.
I figured if angels existed he would know.
I would pretend to be asleep to listen to his nonsense.
"Angel", I'd hear him tell our coworkers, "worked hard today, let her sleep. She looks so innocent don't she, when she's asleep? Soon as she wakes up though. Lord that mouth. But she's cute ain't she, like a baby tiger. Never know it's gonna claw you or purr."
Our coworkers would laugh and nod, "Uh-uh, Uh-huh".
"She's strong", his voice full of approval, "Lord knows, this world you need to be strong."
The coworkers would all nod, "Uh-huh, Uh-huh".
He had seizures. They would hit him and his body would drop to the ground and his eyes would roll in his head like a cheap carnival doll. They got progressively worse, lasting longer, happening more frequently - his own personal earthquakes that were gradually shaking his brain into smaller and smaller pieces. There was nothing the doctors could do.
I asked him what it was like to have a seizure, he told me that the heavenly choir was pouring over him like the flood, all he could do was try to swim cause all there was, was the singing of angels surrounding him as far as he could see, and all he could do was try not to slide under it because it held him like water, and tossed him around like a thought and he knew he could drown in it and there was nothing he could do but try to swim.
"Every time I get thrown farther. Sometime, it's gonna happen. I won't come back." I could hear the fear in his voice and all I could think was, what do you say when someone knows they're gonna die?
I asked him once for fun, what color is heaven? He threw his head back, his eyebrows rose, his face squeezed shut like a slammed door, and he nodded his head as if he was agreeing with some voice. "Heaven is the color of God's love".
I couldn't laugh at the thoughts of a dying man.
I figured if angels existed he would know.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Fucking Mother Nature
You bitch!
You didn't tell me that when you came the dinosaurs would die - the world tilted on its axis. We froze our asses off for an eon!
I liked the dinosaurs. They had majesty before the lost tombs of the pharoahs even existed. The giants of the earth were beholden to none.
Do you know what the inheritors of the earth are beholden to?
One day they came to me and told me that I owed them money. I asked them what for?
"You are living on our land, you owe us rent", they said.
"How can you own the land", I asked.
"I watched as this land was created and you didn't make it".
They yelled at me, "Here is the paper saying we own it. It is ours from there to here and if you want to step on it you have to pay us".
I walked away but they chased me, they hunted me down til I had nowhere to go but this cave, where I sit in the cold and the dark and ask myself why you did this to me.
Last, but not fucking least, you gave me an STD and I can't get rid of it. I took three rounds of antibiotics but this thing, the doctor called it "hatred", just won't go away.
I loved you, why did you break my heart?
- The Goddess
You didn't tell me that when you came the dinosaurs would die - the world tilted on its axis. We froze our asses off for an eon!
I liked the dinosaurs. They had majesty before the lost tombs of the pharoahs even existed. The giants of the earth were beholden to none.
Do you know what the inheritors of the earth are beholden to?
One day they came to me and told me that I owed them money. I asked them what for?
"You are living on our land, you owe us rent", they said.
"How can you own the land", I asked.
"I watched as this land was created and you didn't make it".
They yelled at me, "Here is the paper saying we own it. It is ours from there to here and if you want to step on it you have to pay us".
I walked away but they chased me, they hunted me down til I had nowhere to go but this cave, where I sit in the cold and the dark and ask myself why you did this to me.
Last, but not fucking least, you gave me an STD and I can't get rid of it. I took three rounds of antibiotics but this thing, the doctor called it "hatred", just won't go away.
I loved you, why did you break my heart?
- The Goddess
Distraction
I'm sorry.
Sometimes, there is only space for my thoughts.
I'm wrapped up in them, tied with beautifully impossible bondage knots.
I am safely contained and free to jerk and twist in a pre-orgasm fight.
They won't let me go until I come and then, and then.. you can tell me what you need at the grocery store.
I will offer to buy you everything that I am not.
Sometimes, there is only space for my thoughts.
I'm wrapped up in them, tied with beautifully impossible bondage knots.
I am safely contained and free to jerk and twist in a pre-orgasm fight.
They won't let me go until I come and then, and then.. you can tell me what you need at the grocery store.
I will offer to buy you everything that I am not.
Friday, September 9, 2011
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Always great discussion about feminist science fiction with writers and authors! Come check it out!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Revising Short Stories: Building a Tree Branch by Branch
I used to find myself revising until my initial story had morphed - usually into a completely different story and one that wasn't coherent or well.. good. Frustrated and disappointed I would toss it in a pile and hide it away. I felt like I hadn't remained true to my initial idea for what I was trying to say and I had lost the threads that held the story together in the first place.
Many writers love revising - they think of it as the phase of writing in which the story really comes alive and manifests itself; where the story begins to breathe and interact with the reader. I'm learning to love revision as well although, it's a tempestuous relationship and I don't like her mother (she whines about my punctuation).
I've gotten a lot better at revising - practice creates improvement. I often wonder if I am killing good darlings in revision and I'm still figuring out when and why to axe things that aren't working towards making a strong story.
One of the exercises that I've been working on is one in which I revise a layer of craft at a time. If you consider each aspect of craft as a branch, as you revise and rework each one, you are creating a tree that is your story. Your branches will intertwine supporting each other. This builds a strong tree comprised of the different elements of craft growing together. All elements of craft should work together to make your story. Voice, characterization, setting, etc. are tools that work in service of the story and if one of them is not working you need to cut it off and revise that branch.
Many writers that I respect use this revision method so that they a) don't get confused and b) finish that aspect of craft to their satisfaction. I've done at least 20 drafts of one of the stories I'm working on trying this method out to see if it improves my writing. I did revision passes for voice, dialogue, plot, pacing, setting, characterization, and show vs tell. I feel like I'm forgetting some revisions in that list but hopefully you get what I mean.
I'd say overall this has been a very successful experiment. It allowed me to create a level of consistency that I hadn't experienced before in my stories. While it's been hard trying to control my desire for instant gratification (I want the story done NOW!), I've been really pleased and plan on doing this for every story going forward.
I'd love to hear about other writer's processes. Care to share some tips?
Many writers love revising - they think of it as the phase of writing in which the story really comes alive and manifests itself; where the story begins to breathe and interact with the reader. I'm learning to love revision as well although, it's a tempestuous relationship and I don't like her mother (she whines about my punctuation).
I've gotten a lot better at revising - practice creates improvement. I often wonder if I am killing good darlings in revision and I'm still figuring out when and why to axe things that aren't working towards making a strong story.
One of the exercises that I've been working on is one in which I revise a layer of craft at a time. If you consider each aspect of craft as a branch, as you revise and rework each one, you are creating a tree that is your story. Your branches will intertwine supporting each other. This builds a strong tree comprised of the different elements of craft growing together. All elements of craft should work together to make your story. Voice, characterization, setting, etc. are tools that work in service of the story and if one of them is not working you need to cut it off and revise that branch.
Many writers that I respect use this revision method so that they a) don't get confused and b) finish that aspect of craft to their satisfaction. I've done at least 20 drafts of one of the stories I'm working on trying this method out to see if it improves my writing. I did revision passes for voice, dialogue, plot, pacing, setting, characterization, and show vs tell. I feel like I'm forgetting some revisions in that list but hopefully you get what I mean.
I'd say overall this has been a very successful experiment. It allowed me to create a level of consistency that I hadn't experienced before in my stories. While it's been hard trying to control my desire for instant gratification (I want the story done NOW!), I've been really pleased and plan on doing this for every story going forward.
I'd love to hear about other writer's processes. Care to share some tips?
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